50 Signs That You Might Be a Prepper
Today, it’s all about the 50 signs that you might be a prepper. If you survived the 1990s, then you remember the stand-up comedian Jeff Foxworthy and the most popular portion of his act, “You might be a redneck if…”.
Unless of course, you were living underneath a rock during that time. He would go on to give dozens of humorous examples of what a redneck looked like, and he was always spot-on, followed up with snorting laughter from the crowd.
Signs That You Might Be a Prepper
I’ve decided to take a similar approach when it comes to prepping and mention a few of the absurd and unusual habits that some of us may have. While I may not be known for my jokes, some of these “things” that preppers do, are in fact funny, while some are just a bit odd.
Many of you preppers out there may be as guilty of a few of them as I am. These are 50 of the telltale signs that you may be a prepper. Or maybe you’d rather prefer if I titled this, “You might be a prepper if…”
- When bad weather arrives, for some odd reason you’re super-excited about it.
- You may be strangely curious about what an EMP attack would actually look like.
- You start to panic when you’re down to your last family pack of toilet paper.
- When you hear something on the news, your first instinct is to not believe it.
- You believe that a long-term power outage is a great practice for the real thing.
- 911 is not a part of your home’s security plan.
- When it comes to being prepared for emergencies, your dog is better prepared than your next-door neighbor.
- You’ve had a 10 pound can of food fall on your toe…more than once.
- All of your friends know better than to get rid of their empty gallons of milk and pop containers in front of you…I mean, who does this?
- You take paintballing to a whole different level, where it’s no longer about having fun, but about being the last one standing.
- You stock up on diva cups to replace tampons that take up too much space.
- Buying expired food is of no concern to you.
- You move to a part of the country, as far away from the New Madrid fault line as you can.
- …..or for that matter, actually have an idea what the New Madrid fault line is.
- You understand the meanings of SHTF and TEOTWAWKI.
- You keep duct tape with you wherever you go (it can fix literally anything).
- You’ve done your online research to determine if your belly button lint can be used for something.
- Most of your food supply is stored in buckets down in your basement.
- One of your family members asks you why you have more than two or three manual can openers.
- Your supply of grains is getting up there with what the country Norway has hidden and stashed away.
- When it comes to your method of exercising, you enjoy running up a mountain, grappling, and stomach crawls.
- Your stockpile of over the counter drugs and medicines dwarfs your local pharmacy. 30 OTC Medications You Should Stock
- Your twisted idea of romance is conversing with your spouse on your 2-way radios from the other room.
- You watch apocalyptic movies so that you can critique their mistakes, or gather a few useful new ideas.
- When all your local big box retail stores award you “Customer of the Year.”
- You enjoy the smell of WD-40, gasoline, and velcro.
- You’ve tasted dandelions to determine whether you could stomach them or not if that’s all that’s available to eat.
- Besides dandelions, you could easily tell me which wild berries are edible and which are poisonous.
- You look around to see if anyone is watching and then proceed to put an insect in your mouth for a quick bite to eat.
- Your children are able to properly handle a gun without being afraid.
- You visit the county dump to throw away garbage only to leave with more than you brought.
- You have a generous supply of hard liquor and cigarettes, even though you don’t drink or smoke.
- More and more of your clothing is looking a lot more camouflaged these days.
- You enjoy archery as a “sport,” but it’s really so that you can provide a meal for your family.
- On more than one occasion you’ve asked your friends and family for their expired cooking oil.
- There’s a top-notch fire extinguisher in every room of your house.
- Every time you enter a building you immediately start looking for the exits.
- Instead of resorting to buying new shoelaces, you use your supply of paracord to tie your shoes instead.
- You’ve “experimented” with dog food to see if it was in fact, edible.
- You find yourself extremely jealous of someone’s underground bunker that you’ve seen on a tv show.
- You spend more time “tinkering” with things that you probably will never use.
- You have more than one “bug-out” location prepared with supplies and food rations.
- You’re only willing to vacation to a state where you’re allowed to carry concealed weapons legally.
- In fact, you never really like leaving too far from home, especially your bug-out location.
- When you do stay in a hotel room, all the “samples” find their way home with you.
- You know and can recite by heart the 7 p’s of survival.
- You’ve decided to forfeit one of your children’s bedrooms in order to make another pantry area.
- You stumble upon a 72-hour kit and think it’s a joke.
- Sleeping bags and blankets are a lot like money…you can never have too much.
- You’ve come to the realization that there are only two types of people, those that prep and those that don’t!
Signs That You Might be a Prepper
These are just a few of the many examples and signs of those who have taken prepping to a whole other level. While many of them are in fact funny, and a tad overboard, there’s nothing wrong or silly about being prepared. Have you ever heard the old saying, “hope for the best, but prepare for the worst?”
That’s what a prepper does, and I’d encourage you to do the same. What are some of your favorite signs that you’re a prepper? May God Bless this world, Linda
Copyright Images: Preppers AdobeStock_287185419 by Roger
49 thoughts on “50 Signs That You Might Be a Prepper”
Linda, a great chuckle with which to start my day! Thank you!
Hi Wendy, I really felt like we need a good laugh! Thank you for your kind words!! Linda
OK, don’t laugh too hard, but there was a time, when the thought of evacuating, which we have never had to do, including trying to fit in our car my, hope chest of crystal Christmas ornaments…..I said don’t laugh so hard!!! I will never reach you or Matts’ level, as I see myself more of a pantry person, than a prepper, but I do try. We are prepared for 12 months.
Hi Chris, oh my gosh, this the BEST COMMENT EVER! I have the giggles so hard my sides hurt. I had a hope chest I received when I graduated from High school. I am totally visualizing pushing my hope chest into the back of my Honda CRV! This is the best story in the history of my website. You are so awesome to share!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE it! Being prepared for 12 months is awesome! You rock! Linda
Linda, here’s mine. You have a mini store in your house? Some of our kids have said this to us. Of course, these are the non preppers.
I just got a sling shot for myself. And some clay balls to use in it. I’m ordering some steel ones, too. I’m wanting a Stun gun with flashlight. I’ll have to check online.
Hi Deborah, oh yeah baby, our mini store! But where I live now, my kids are too far away! I need to get a slingshot and steel balls. AND a stun gun with a flashlight. You are y kind of woman!! Love these! Linda
Linda, LOL I actually got the stun gun idea from a long time online friend from North Carolina. I’m going to check on Amazon first. Then check Walmart’s website. I have the clay balls for practicing. The steel ones will be for protection. I had a sling shot years ago and gave it to my Marine grandson, before he went in the Marines. He’s out now and been out for about a year now. I got them from Walmart then.
When you cannot walk by the Solar powered Christmas lights at the end of season sales without grabbing a few boxes.
When you have figured out how to make heavy blankets into curtains that can be rolled and tie during the day- following the path of the sun on your house.
When you have figured out a lending library for your neighborhood at the nearby park. (It will take a village).
Hi Janette, oh my gosh, these are the best! When you’re a prepper we all think of these things, right?? Of course, we do!! Life is so good! Linda
You got the humor!
Number 31. Oh, my! Every time…every time. Cast off bicycles..treasure! I have three, pedal powered machines now, grinder, washing machine, scroll saw, and plans for a garden “machine” as soon as someone discards one of those tough mountain bikes.
Hi Bob, oh my gosh #31, this is awesome!!! Wow, some of those are high ticket items!! SCORE!!! Praying for the mountain bike! Life is so good! Linda
For year my husband would collect “junk” at night, take it to the scrap yard in the morning, and more times than not, come home with things to repair and sell at our garage sale. People today do not want to work as hard as we had to.
Linda, so many great numbers to choose from!!! But,#50 is the ultimate. Still too many people that think nothing will happen! I enjoyed your sense of humor and reality at the same time. (stay safe)
Hi Bill, this is so funny you would say this because even with this crazy year, people are lined up for the food bank. If anyone watched the news they could see people cannot get food at some stores. I thought we could use a laugh right about now! Stay safe! Linda
I have another one for you. You have attack dogs that will attack anyone who is not supposed to be in the house (you even have to put them up when repair men you called come in or delivery men come). Your dogs are not big bruisers like you see on TV. They are a doxwawa and a pugwawa. Ones about 25# and the other is 10# soaking wet.
My husband was not home one day and I learned later someone broke into our neighbors house while he was in the tub and stole just about everything. Same guy (I assume) came to our house and the 2 dogs mentioned above attacked his leg as he started to step into the house. He screeched like a banshee. You could see they got him pretty good because their was blood all over our back porch.
Hi Jackie, oh my gosh, the loving pets become attack dogs!! I think it’s interesting that they KNEW he was a robber and went after his leg! I have often wondered what my puppies would do if an intruder came in. One is #10 and the other is #16. They bark when they hear the mail lady but never bark otherwise. But they go crazy if she walks up to the door with a box. I’m so glad the intruder didn’t make it into your home any farther. Shame on him or her for breaking into your home. Glad you were okay. Linda
Love these especially #10. We have a paintball field , Someone would get a surprise trying to get into our house etc. ! We are both good shots!
Hi Cheryl, oh my gosh the last man standing! The paintball field! THIS IS SO AWESOME! I tell you I think we all needed some fun today! You’re both good shots! Love it! Linda
That’s funny. My spouse told me if one of us gets Covid, we could use the two way radios… I think he had a bit of a gleam in his eyes.
Hi Janet, oh my gosh, this is the best comment ever! I think he had a bit of a gleam in his eye!! The two-way radios, I have the giggles so bad!! Love this!! Linda
You don’t know me
Hi Matt, you’re more than just a prepper!!! LOL! Linda
I am never, ever, EVER down to my last family pack of TP. I get the uncontrollable urge to buy more as soon as I break into the one of five already in my closet.
Hi Patricia, you are my kind of woman! I can’t remember the last time (even before COVID) that I have ever had less than 5 packages from Costco either! I live in a neighborhood when COVID hit, people were asking for one or two rolls to be delivered to them. Who runs out of TP???? LOL! Love it! Linda
Well, Linda ~ I guess I am a prepper!! I fit so many of the 50 items on the list – not all but most!!
Hi Leanne, oh my gosh, your list would be longer, my friend! You are for sure an expert prepper! Love it! Linda
I do NOT think I am an expert prepper! I just know a lot of stuff and think about scenarios that I might need to know about, store plenty of food, water, camping stuff – you know! But when I read the blogs on prepping I don’t fit many of those ideas of a prepper. Of course, most of them are written by and likely for the survivalist mentality. Not that that is a bad thing, but I don’t have an armory nor a bug out location, that sort of thing. So, I prep within my means and location, make decisions based upon the knowledge and skills that I have acquired over the years. But an expert, nah – just a resilient woman!!!
Hi Leanne, I’m glad you pointed that out. I have a post written about preppers vs. survivalists coming in a day or two. I am not a survivalist. Anyway, I admire your knowledge. Linda
I have been quiet for a while, but have read all of your posts, but this one was a winner. I had to clean coffee off of my keyboard, use your belly button lint for something made me spit my coffee. As usual you are on top of things, there are only two kinds of people, those that prepare for the long term emergency, and those who when it happens, will cry woe is me.
Keep up the good work, you are our #1 go to person…
Hi Hearl, you made my day! I have always been the person who laughs, life is too short to be grumpy. I can call some of my daughters and they will say, “I have to tell you this funny story” and we are all laughing before the story is even told. We can hardly get through the funny story. My whole family loves to laugh, so there you have it! Enjoy life! Thank you for your kind words! Linda
The problem I see with collecting gear and supplies for prepping is that you buy stuff, it makes you happy, you put it away, you feel better prepared, but then you remember one other thing or you see a good deal on something, usually a “must have” prepper item and you just HAVE to have that too.
I like knives and have quite a few, so now I need to practice sharpening knives with my belt sander and stock up on belts. Even though I’ll probably never be able to use all my knives enough for all of them to require sharpening, I still need to be able to sharpen the ones I am using. I have found myself in a prepper induced predicament. My excuse and reasoning is…. I need knives, I need more than one because redundancy and backups are necessary, and I can trade some of them. And the sander and belts allow me to have a trade and barter sharpening services. So again, I NEEEEED all this stuff.
I need all the flashlights, metal water bottles, bundles of paracord, Write-In-The-Rain paper and pen, knives, multi-tools, Luci inflatable solar lanterns, etc., or I might not be ready. As silly or excessive as preppers may seem to others, when stored are closed or inaccessible, you better have “it” or you will have to go without.
But that’s what being prepared requires. Incidentally, I have six 1 pound jars of Peter Pan Crunchy Peanut Butter (Although Skippy Extra Crunchy is my absolute favorite) because Publix had them in their collection of buy one, get one food items. For me, that a big deal. I t did seem like two much, but at the same time, my prepper mind felt it was not enough. And it’s never really a waste or excessive if you actually use the stuff and then restock your pantry.
So we can laugh at ourselves, but feel good we actually do prepare for emergencies and one small advantage…. preppers get to ask the question, “So do I seem so crazy now?”
Hi Frank, we are not crazy that’s for sure. I love peanut butter, Skippy is my favorite too! But I love any peanut that is on sale!!! LOL! You are smart to collect knives and know how to sharpen them. Great bartering items. We are prepared for whatever comes out way! Linda
OMG – Linda, You are right on the money beautiful lady. Everyone of these apply to our family. We give emergency supplies buckets to our kids and grandkids for Christmas and other celebration events. They love the goodies.
Hi DC, thank you for your kind words! I have had limited funds for the last few years so I don’t do as much as I used to my kids and grandkids. But when I did it was always practical emergency food, my favorite water BLUE CAN in cases, filter deals. Oh and flashlights. I can sleep at night knowing my family can take care of themselves since we live so far apart. Christmas is so fun with the kids and grandkids. This year will be different. But life is still so good. Linda
I laughed so much my ears hurt,
Hi Mary, it’s so crazy, I felt like we all needed a good laugh. So I started writing and I kept giggling the whole time. Life is good when we can laugh. Life is so good! Linda
Oh My Stars! that was THE best thing I’ve ever read! I could actually hear Jeff Foxworthy reciting it all, too. Saw him in concert and I ’bout wet myself. I totally related to almost every one of these items. I will NEVER EVER run out of toilet paper! I think I have about 20 pkgs of it in my basement (the kids “shop” there!) It’s my number one item I could never do without. Oddly, we were at Costco today and yup, you guessed it, NO toilet paper! I was going to buy another one, too. Darn. I’m definitely #22-I honestly have the same amount of items as a CVS. I think we’ve got everything we need. And #24? I personally own just about every disaster movie out there and watch them on SyFy, etc. And yes, I DO critique them! I’ve been known to get an idea or two from them, too. And lastly, #49 – I have soooo many quilts! Amish, ones I’ve made, Minky’s – we’ll get crushed under them but we won’t be cold! :o)
Thanks again for an amazing post, Linda! It was to die for!!
Hi Robbie, oh my gosh, the Amish quilts, and the Minky’s we will all get crushed bu we will not be cold!!! Love it! Isn’t it funny when you start looking at stuff, and you know we may “need it”!! And Costco is out of TP, again??? It is funny when I see all those carts leaving with TP and Paper Towels. Life is so good! We need to laugh! Linda
Number 43 is definitely my rule!!! Not humor to me!!! Great list!!!
Hi Harry, it’s funny you should mention this particular one!!! I totally agree. Thanks, my good friend! Linda
Your list describes a DOOMSDAY PREPPER. The There are only two ways an EMP incident can happen:: MASSIVE SOLAR FLARE OR AN AIR BURST AULCLEAR EXPLOSION. ARE YOU AFRAID THAT N.KOREA IS GOING TO NUKE CHICAGO? Have you actually done #39? If so; which dog food are you prepared to feed your kids? If given the Opportunity; Could you field dress a MOOSE or ELK BY YOUR SELF?
Your list reminds me of my older sister. She’s paranoid of eating at a dairy Queen because she’s afraid of being robbed by one of THOSE PEOPLE
Awww show me on the preparedness humor doll where this post hurt you
It’s for laughs lighten up
Hi Matt, thank you for your kind words, you are awesome! Linda
Hi Elbert, wow, I can’t tell if you are shouting at me with CAPITAL LETTERS or not. Anyway, as far as #39, I make my own dog food for my two puppies. I felt we all needed a good laugh, I do not feel paranoid when I go to Dairy Queen. It’s too bad your sister does. I hope you have a good day. Linda
#7 tickled me, Linda. I know for a fact that my dog is better prepared than my neighbors are!
Hi Roxanne, oh my gosh!! My dogs are more prepared than most of my neighbors too!! We have to laugh, right? Life is good! Linda
Guilty of the following:
Hi FlaPrepper1, oh my gosh, I love hearing this! Life is so good when we can laugh and enjoy life right now! Thanks for stopping by! Stay safe, Linda